Delulu Express - Episode 3 (Daddy Kamsi😍)

Nobody! Absolutely nobody...

Just me, creating a scenario in my head where my mom is scolding me over the phone for weaving Kamsi's hair. Kamsi is my son, a cute and smart 4-year-old. The kids have been sent off on summer holidays at Grandma's. I had begged my younger sis to take them because I knew I couldn't face my parents with Kamsi's hair.

As she scolds me, the phone is on loudspeaker because my hands are busy making Kamsi's father's hair. My dad is saying something related to what the Bible says about men who make their hair, and I chuckled within me because I know I will never find that verse. The love of my life (LOML) and I are both trying to hold our laughter while trying to sound remorseful. Then she does that thing where she calls my name aggressively seven times. LOML and I keep count as she calls my name so that when she asks, "Nnenna, how many times did I call you?" we will give accurate answers 🤣🤣. Suddenly, her voice begins to sound more masculine. Is that my dad? I wondered. Then there was a pat on my back...

"Nnenna Na! I have been calling you," and slowly, I am yanked off my created lovely chaos back to reality. I am still on my way to the bus stop, a few steps away from the office. I turn slowly; it's Tayo.

"Hi Tayo", I say.

"Nelly Nelly! Come and buy J&J specials for me, na." I suddenly realize we have stopped in front of J&J grills; I have been longing to eat from there since God knows when. The smell of their food alone is enough to keep you salivating for days. I did not smell it because I and Daddy Kamsi had eaten and were just chilling. I laugh,

"Abi you want to buy for me, Mr. TEE!" "Ahahn! Madam Nnenna Nwankwo, you na big woman na, see your fine bag. You know you're a classy bae." He said, checking me out

"Yes, oh, I am, thank you, but we did not reclaim our mandate yesterday so things choke."

He tries to cajole me to buy for him. See this guy oh, wo fimile I want to go back to Daddy Kamsi! I did not even give him a name yet.

"Okay now, see you tomorrow," He said. We finally part ways, glad to be back inside my head. "Hey Memory dept. hold that thought for a while till I grab a bus." "Roger that, Nelly!" a tired Oblongata replied. I cross the road.

"Shogunle! Fine girl, you dey go Shogunle?" the conductor beckoning to enter his rickety bus. I ignore him and continue the journey whilst he insults me for snubbing him. I don't care. Oh, I need to finish this daydream; Daddy Kamsi has to finish making his hair. I hasten my steps. I reach the cantonment. I can hear Yaba, Oshodi, Ojuelegba; different bus stops being called by conductors. Oh God, I hope to get a bus to take me straight to...

"Oyingbo!". The conductor shouted, Wow, God answers prayers fast oh, let me try to finish Daddy Kamsi's hair so that he can answer that one.

"Yaba Oyingbo," the throaty call continued. I waved the shuttle to halt. Thank God it's a shuttle. Now, where were we? I can't concentrate again. The driver is shouting so that the remaining two spaces in the bus get filled up. Oh my good God! I bring out my phone. Monopoly Go! I start to play. The way I am winning points and dice today. I lose myself in the game till the driver asks for money. I hastily give him not wanting to be distracted from my winning streak.

"Yaba owa!" two passengers said and alighted.

"Health center Oyingbo," the driver bellowed again. I am so engrossed. Shutdown! Serves you right, Jane! I send a sticker. The bus starts to move again; my dice are finished now, and I'm back to reality. Ehehn where were we? wait, what was I thinking about again. Oh, Lord. I must remember. I rack my brain, but nothing is coming. I knew that Roger was not a rogering one. I get distracted again by the fight between a passenger and a driver. They hurled curses at each other because of 50 naira. Apparently, the driver had called for 150 naira and had no 50 naira change to give. Most times they do that so that you can pay the full 200 naira. The young girl refused adamantly, insisting the driver must pay her balance at her stop. The driver is threatening to drive on. She is daring him to.

The old woman beside me coughs out, covering her mouth only after she has let out the virus into the air. God when will I buy a car like this, Jeez, the drama, the disease, and distractions.... The driver eventually bowed to the angry lady's rants giving her 100 naira and throwing it on the main road for her to pick it, with a range of curses. She hurls them back at him as she alighted; she waits for cars to pass to pick up the money. The angry driver zoomed off!

A Honda HRV passes by, Oh Lord my dream car, the red color. I can imagine myself driving around town with this baby; I will even name her Wendy! "Hey, Wendy! Take me to work." "Sure Nelly, at your service baby girl," she says with her AI voice. "Hey Wendy play me Chike!" "Sure boss, playing Nakupenda by Chike. Oh my baby e som aga, sweet music. Oh Lord! Wendy of Life, you're the best!

Wait, this place looks like... Ye ye ye! I have passed my bus stop;

"Jebba wa oh!", I say

"Owo da!", the angry driver demanded, This driver's pepper body is too much. I say nothing, alighting the bus. I gave the driver the eye. He quickly remembered, withdrawing his outstretched hand and zooming off. Now what will I eat this evening? Ok, there's light thank God, I can make oats, with an orishirishi fruit combo. I pass Aunty B's saloon. Shoot! I need to wash my hair. Yes! Hair! I was making Daddy Kamsi's hair. I will finish that daydream when I reach home. I reached my compound, opened my door, and turned on my TV. it's my favorite episode of the Thundermans. I prepare my oats, daily check in with my bestie, and finally listen to ranting Ranti in my BabyGirls4Life Group! Hozana prayers

ZZZZZzzzzz!!!

Well... you guessed it right... I never finished making Daddy Kamsi's hair. But we live to daydream another day. At least Daddy Kamsi is going nowhere in my little head. His company and all the places he needs to be are there, so also Paris, Italy, Ibiza, Cappadocia, Dubai, Mykonos, Bahamas, and Maldives and he has the perfect good guy friends and will not give me trust issues. Who says you can't have what you want? If you can dream it, it can happen!

Written by Rosemary Ugwuogo aka Dauntless