I wake up with a heavy hangover headache. Last night was wild!! I have distorted details on what happened. Jenjen made us go from Cubana to Quilox to Landmark Beach and back to Folixx. I think she had it all planned out because we kept bumping into mutual friends and people we follow on Instagram. We met two secondary school classmates, who were blokes (tomboys) but are now hot Instagram baddies with tons of followers and influencer deals. We didn’t say Hi to them, we just sat drinking and shading their BBL asses and Botox make-up layered faces. One was on braces sef, Akunna, a very annoying girl in school back then.
We met Enyinna the actor, that guy that acted wedding party as Banky’s brother. My crush of life. We took great pictures with him. Nonye did not plan to stay long but she eventually did. It was so good to see Nono wasted again. She has been so focused on trying to make partners, that she barely had time for partying and stuff. We had so much fun with her, doing stupid dares and twerking in our little corner till she left with one guy like that at Landmark. Wait, Nonye left with a guy! Or was it a girl? her friend from KPMG, I recall her saying. I would go with a girl for my small brain’s sake. Or was it a guy? Ouch, my brain poked me. This is why people have terrible headaches after hangovers, you can’t remember everything just let it be, it told me. I twisted on my bed.
We had bumped into 2 of my exes in all these wakas. Tayo, one marine engineer I dated during IT, Jenjen hated his guts and so did I after the break-up though, and so we tried to hide our drunken, wasted selves from him. I mean if I must meet my ex, I should be looking like another banger, not Dumebi. Jenjen made a joke about Adam and Eve and hiding from God, as we crawled under tables to get away from his view. It still feels funny, but I can’t remember it. Who was the other ex-again? I know we definitely spoke to that one. Jenjen liked him and was so excited to see him despite all my begging. I try to quiz my brain, writhing on the bed, Wait! This is not your bed, my brain identified. My eyes flew open! Where am I? The room was unfamiliar, and the other side of the bed was empty. I quickly assess myself, I was still clothed, thank God.
I sat up in bed and tried to focus.
My head was pounding, and my mouth was dry. I got out of bed and went to the
bathroom to splash some water on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I saw the
bags under my eyes, one eyelash hanging loose and the stubble on my face. I
looked like Choki. I can’t think of my looks right now. I washed my face. Where the hell am I? This bathroom is so neat. This boy must be so neat and organized. The bedroom was spotless and so is the bathroom. Where
is Jenjen? I hope it’s not Kamsi. Oh my God! Yes, it was Kamsi, we met
yesterday, the ex, Jenjen dragged me to see. I hope I am not in Kamsi’s house, Oh
Lord! why can’t I remember anything after we met Kamsi? Okay, Kamsi was not an
ex-like ex. If you understand what I mean. Forget it you don’t, Okay here goes.
Kamsi was my crush, from secondary school. I mean I dated him in my head, we both
did, Jenjen and I. It was crazy, and we were still teenagers then, so it doesn’t
count.
But Kamsi, boy! That guy is so hot.
He was an altar server in church, leading young girls away from the body of
Christ with his cute, dreamy eyes. Oh, Lord, I and Jenjen used to attend 6am
mass just to see Kamsi. He was tall and muscular, with broad shoulders and
a slim waist. He had droopy eyes that were deep, soulful brown. He was so
handsome, and he had this kind of casual confidence that was incredibly
attractive. I know what you are thinking, Is he finer than Chuks? Hmmmn… Let us
not go there, maybe if he had the kind of money Chuks had, maybe I would take
time to compare the two. Funny how I never dated Kamsi, we have not seen him since
Secondary School, and now I remember he was the one that made his way to us at
the club. No, Jenjen dragged me to meet him, who was already on his way to us. It’s surprising he remembered us from teens club he said. Okay, I am
remembering some conversations in bits.
I went back to the bedroom, after washing my face and made
for my phone. Jenjen had called me 3 times around 5am. I return the call, but
she didn’t answer. It’s 9am, and I have a meeting with a client at 10am. I must
head home to get ready.
"Good morning," he said.
"You look like you had a rough night."
Oh, the voice, I can’t turn like
this, It’s Kamsi's. Did I sleep with Kamsi? Jesus Lord, No! No! No! Lord please
no! I and Jenjen are on a celibate pact. We can’t have done it. Jeez not again.
Crushes are not meant to be slept with. Just to adore and daydream
"Yeah," I said. "I did." Trying not to turn around. Even if nothing happened last night, Kamsi can not see me like this. I looked like hell.
“AiDee, what’s up? why are you
backing me?” He moved closer, and I turned from him. He tried to touch me, and I
flinched away from him. He laughed, Oh Lord, it sounded like the rain.
“Nothing happened Aidee.” Aidee, only Kamsi called me that ever and I hated it. I used to snap back, "It's Dara" and he would laugh. God this is so messed up. He must think I am some sort of wild girl now.
“Really?” I turned in excitement,
then I remembered how I looked then turned sharply back. He laughed again.
“Idara Effiong, jeez you have not
changed a bit. Shy as always.” He said, walking to stand right in front of me. I
looked down, I couldn't look at his face not because I was shy, but because I was ashamed. I had just disgraced myself in front of my crush. He laughed.
“I think you still look beautiful.”
He continued reaching out to cup my face. I could detect a slight British Accent. I smiled sheepishly then moved away because the butterflies in my tummy were spreading around my body and turning everything to water. I am bold
and confident but when it comes to Kamsi, I turn to that village girl that
draws sand on the ground with her legs. Jenjen had always been the one that
does the talking and with Kamsi, her mouth is like a tap of flowing water, I wonder
what she told him yesterday. I hope he doesn’t know we have a crush on him. He
knows, my brain told me, then fragments of our conversations started pouring in.
I was the one doing all the talking, Oh Lord, where was Jenjen!! I will kill
that girl. Is that why he is trying to be all cute and loving now. I must
behave like I don’t like him that much.
“You ehn.” I nudged him. “Still
good with the words right.” he laughed again.
“Last night was wild, what were you
people celebrating, you guys were wasted. If I did not swoop in and save you,
you guys would have done some real crazy things man.”
“Where’s Jenjen? Why did you not
save her too?” I asked him.
“I don’t know, she left us to dance
with a guy remember, we continued gisting till I went to use the restroom,
then I saw you climbing the stage to twerk, I had to swoop in and drag you out,
you passed out, I tried to look for Jenjen, but she and the guy had disappeared.”
“Ouch!” My head hurt as I began to
see clips of the wild night. Jenjen recognized him from the crowd and dragged
me to say hi.
“So sorry, have some Panadol, I made
you breakfast.” He said as we walked into the living room.
“Thank you so much, Kamsi, Thank you
for intervening and everything. I must find Jenjen and my car. I have a meeting
at 10am today. I am so sorry for everything. This is not me on a normal day.
Jenjen is leaving, I am a bit overwhelmed…”
“With your Ex marrying your best
friend, I know, you told me that yesterday… you must let me drop you off then. But I
must say it hurts me that you are not eating my breakfast, I burnt my fingers
to impress you and you are not having it, it hurts you know…” He interrupted
me, and my eyes widened in shock, I must have downloaded this guy with my entire life
story. I hope I did not tell him what I did when my father died.
“Oh my God, what else did I tell
you yesterday?”
“If you have breakfast with me, I
can give you the full rundown.” He said with a cocky smile. He was so charming,
looking down at me with those eyes. My heart skipped a beat.
“I have...”
“a meeting with a very important
client today and dinner with the girls… I know but you can call the client
and reschedule to say 12pm so that you can have this special breakfast I
prepared for you then I can drive you to your place to get ready while downloading
you with everything that went down yesterday.” He interjected again. He is
already completing my sentences. God, now I am scared.
“I guess I can do that,” I said slowly and
proceeded to call the client, who was super happy to reschedule for 12pm. I
tried calling Jenjen again. She picked after the 5th ring.
“Jen! Oh my God! Thank God you are
alive, where are you?” I said as soon as she picked.
“Huh, who is this?” She said sleepily.
“Jennifer Mbaonu, Its Dara.”
“Oh, You! I don’t know where I am
sef, I think I am in a hotel!”
“Hotel ko!” Nonye’s voice came
through the phone. “Drunkards, Dara she’s in my house, I saw this girl being
hurled out of the building by bouncers. I had to drag her away, you guys were wasted
last night. I don’t even know what she did. She said you were with the car
keys, we couldn’t find you, so I took her home.”
“Oh Lord, happy to know she is
fine.”
“You nko, where are you?” Nonye asked.
I looked at Kamsi, then turned away.
“Well, I may have a revelation this night after all…” I said.
Written by Rosemary Ugwuogo aka Dauntless
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